Remember the first online acquaintance from a few weeks back? His name is J and I decided to meet up with him again yesterday despite thinking for a while that I wouldn't. I didn't wanna close things off before giving it another chance at a possible friendship. So we had a simple dinner and moved on afterwards to chill at a coffee house.
While lining up, I recognised one of the hot baristas from another outlet that I frequent and immediately stroke up a conversation with him. He was very friendly and we talked good. Masculine, tall, tanned and handsome with an amazing body. "Come on, stop trying to delude yourself by doubting if he's cute just because he might be unattainable. Your eyes and what you feel are screaming proof. This guy is hot and you know it." I want him. I want to fool around with him.
After paying for our drinks, I rejoined J who was saving us an outdoor seat and sat down in the company of each other. He admired my behaviour as a gentlemen such as buying him a cup of coffee, offering to serve him and fulfilling his request for more sugar in his Macchiato. I guess little things count and I've never doubted my mannerisms of being a good date.
We were in a crowded place and throughout the whole evening since dinner, my wandering eyes can't seem to stop looking at every single guy that came into our field of vision. Including those who are not that great. J got annoyed at one point and jokingly said: "Hey I'm talking here. Why would I wanna look at other guys when you're in front of me?"
I realised he was right. I was just being plain rude and I felt guilty. I apologised, but deep down I know I couldn't help it because that was the same weekend in which I was going through my overwhelmingly primeval sexed-up phase. Apart from that, my eyes kept swerving to the hot barista that was inside and I asked J what his gaydar thought of my eye-candy. He said he doesn't know because it's been wavering lately.
The hot barista's shift ended and as he was about to leave, he walked over to our table, pronounced my name, sent me his regards and left with his motorcycle helmet. J said he's cute, and straight so I can kiss my dreams of pursuing him goodbye.
J and I continued to talk openly about a lot of things. The most memorably topic of the night was underwear because somehow our conversation drifted to that department and he asked if I had an underwear fetish. "Yes! I do", I replied. I told him I've always had this fantasy of wearing another hot guy's unwashed underwear after he had a long gruelling sweaty day. Preferably after a work out or something.
At one point, he laughed and said: "Man, you're a horny little thing aren't you?" I giggled along because he was literally the fourth or fifth person over the past year to have used the exact same term on me. Horny little thing! I know I make no bones about being a very sexual being, but how am I this horny little thing?
By 11pm, we bid each other goodnight. But the shameless sexual animal in me spent the next 2 hours cruising guys via my phone, trying to catch those who were open to some spontaneous midnight action. I was just so ready to jump at any guy that would give me the green light. Sadly, nothing came up and I respectably took a quiet moment and questioned myself: "M, what is this? What are you doing?" I started wondering if I now run around like a crazy person, trying to chase the years I was left out. Seems like the more I try to make it happen, the more it wouldn't happen because it's just not meant to happen?